The Paradox of Happiness: Why Giving Gets You More Than Getting

I stumbled across a Washington Post article this morning about some fascinating research coming out of Cornell University, and it stopped me in my tracks. Not because it revealed something revolutionary, but because it articulated something I've felt for years but never quite put into words: the surest path to happiness might be to stop chasing it altogether.

The article profiles Anthony Burrow, a Cornell professor who directs the Bronfenbrenner Center for Translational Research, and his Contribution Project. The concept is disarmingly simple: give students $400 and ask them to make any contribution they want—to themselves, to others, to their community. No strings attached, no judgment on the worthiness of the project. Just: what do you want to contribute?

What Burrow found is that students overwhelmingly chose to use the money to benefit others. They bought plaques to honor dining hall workers. They created mental health resources for Hispanic communities. They purchased hygiene kits for people in need. And here's the kicker: the act of contributing didn't just help the recipients. It transformed the contributors themselves, giving them a greater sense of agency, purpose, and hope.

The article includes a quote that's been rattling around in my head all day: "the surest path to happiness for many of us could be as simple as this: Stop trying to be happy — and start figuring out how to make other people happy."

The Lean Manufacturing Connection

As someone who's spent years in the lean manufacturing world, this struck a familiar chord. Because isn't this essentially what we mean when we talk about delivering value?

In lean thinking, we're taught to focus obsessively on value—but always from the customer's perspective, never our own. We don't ask "what do we want to make?" or "what's profitable for us?" We ask "what does the customer actually need?" We study their problems, we eliminate waste, we optimize flow. We pour our energy into solving their challenges.

And here's the thing: when you truly commit to delivering value to others, value comes back to you. Maybe not immediately, maybe not in the way you expected, but it comes. Companies that genuinely serve their customers thrive. Teams that support each other perform better. People who focus on helping others build stronger networks, deeper relationships, better careers.

It's the same paradox Burrow discovered: stop chasing the outcome you want for yourself, start focusing on creating outcomes for others, and somehow you end up better off than when you started.

The Personal Struggle

I'll be honest—I've wrestled with this for a long time. There's always been a voice in the back of my head asking: Am I giving too much? Am I losing myself by constantly committing to others? Where are the boundaries to protect myself?

In my professional life, I've poured energy into mentoring colleagues, helping teams improve their processes, sharing knowledge freely even when it might've been smarter to hoard it as competitive advantage. Personally, I've tried to show up for friends, family, and community in ways that sometimes felt like they stretched me thin.

And there were definitely moments when I wondered if I was being naive. Shouldn't I be more strategic? Shouldn't I be protecting my time, my expertise, my resources more carefully? The prevailing cultural narrative tells us to "look out for number one," to make sure we're not being taken advantage of, to keep score and make sure we're getting our fair share.

But looking back, I've been immensely blessed—both personally and professionally—by giving. The relationships I've built, the opportunities that have emerged, the satisfaction of seeing others succeed in part because of something I contributed... none of that would've happened if I'd been more guarded, more transactional, more focused on maximizing my personal return on investment.

Why This Matters Now

Burrow's research suggests this isn't just about feeling good (though that's not nothing). Having a sense of purpose—particularly one oriented toward contribution—is linked to resilience, better mental health, and greater life satisfaction. In his studies, young people with a stronger sense of purpose showed more positive emotions and handled stress better.

This feels especially relevant right now. We're living through what the Washington Post article calls "highly uncertain times." Gen Z in particular seems to be struggling with happiness, with many feeling disconnected from purpose in their work and lives. The traditional markers of success—buy a house, climb the ladder, accumulate wealth—feel increasingly out of reach or unsatisfying even when achieved.

Maybe what we're learning is that happiness was never really about those things anyway. Maybe it was always about contribution.

The Research Backs It Up

Burrow's Contribution Project has now expanded beyond Cornell to include Binghamton University and Stony Brook University, and he's launched a national version through a nonprofit called Purpose Commons. Over 850 young people have participated, and the project is now backed by a $3 million grant from the John Templeton Foundation to study how young people develop and experience purpose.

The early findings are compelling. Students describe the project as "transformative." They report increased agency, hope, and purpose. And critically, they're not just passively receiving these benefits—they're actively creating them through the act of contributing.

This aligns with broader research on happiness. Studies have repeatedly shown that people who chase happiness directly often end up less happy. It's the "poison drip" effect: constantly measuring your own happiness makes every experience feel inadequate. But when you focus on something beyond yourself—on creating value, making contributions, helping others—happiness emerges as a byproduct.

What This Means Practically

I'm not suggesting we all become selfless martyrs. Boundaries matter. Self-care is real. Burnout is real. You can't pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes.

But maybe the question isn't "how much can I give before I lose myself?" Maybe it's "how can I structure my life and work around contribution?"

In lean terms: how do we design systems that make it easy and sustainable to deliver value? How do we create feedback loops that reinforce contribution rather than extraction? How do we measure success not by what we take but by what we give?

At work, this might mean reframing our goals around the problems we solve for customers rather than the revenue we generate (though solving customer problems generally leads to revenue anyway). It might mean investing in developing others even when it doesn't show up on our performance review. It might mean sharing credit generously, even when we could claim it for ourselves.

Personally, it might mean asking not "what will make me happy?" but "how can I make the people around me happier?" Not in a transactional way—not keeping score, not expecting reciprocation—but as a fundamental orientation toward the world.

The Lean Life

The more I think about it, the more I see lean manufacturing as a philosophy that extends well beyond the factory floor. It's about focusing relentlessly on value. It's about respecting people. It's about continuous improvement in service of something beyond yourself.

Maybe that's why I've found it so compelling for all these years. It's not just a business methodology. It's a framework for living a meaningful life.

Cornell's Contribution Project is, in a way, applying lean thinking to the challenge of human development. Give people resources. Empower them to identify and create value as they see it. Study what emerges. Iterate and improve. Trust that the process of contributing will generate positive outcomes—for others, yes, but also for the contributors themselves.

And that might be the most important insight: you don't have to choose between serving others and serving yourself. When done right, they're the same thing.

What's been your experience with contribution and happiness? Have you found that giving comes back to you in unexpected ways? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Sources:

Washington Post: "This happiness hack can guide you toward a life of purpose" (October 24, 2025)
Cornell Chronicle: "Finding purpose and beauty, Contribution Project expands its reach" (May 2025)
Cornell Chronicle: "New research initiative to focus on the power of purpose" (April 2025)
Cornell Chronicle: "The Contribution Project returns to Cornell, expands to two SUNYs" (February 2024)